


The Accidental Dog Owners

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Cars, Gunshots, M/M, Violence, a talking dog, nerds being nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:47:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9872234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: Bond ends up befriending a dog on a mission. Q gives the dog a collar which allows it to talk. And Bond decides to take the dog out on a mission.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this didn't start out as a Bond/Q fic but it ended up that way? Like it just kind of snowballed into one when I realized it could work with the storyline

I slammed my foot on the gas of my Aston Martin DBS, screeching away from the scene. That's the problem with being a double-o agent. You end up getting into sticky situations, with nothing but your wits, a car… and the German Shepard that decided to follow you around. I don't know why the dog took a liking to me. All I did was free her from her owner. And then kill her owner. He was a horrible sort of man, who liked to host dogfighting matches for fun. I guess the dog was grateful or something. But I didn't exactly need a dog following me around when I was being shot at by a group of Russian monsters.   
Suddenly, my phone rang. It was M. I picked the phone up and mashed it against the side of my face as I made a tight left turn.   
“Bond? We need you back at base.” M’s voice spoke through the phone. M was… well, she had more balls than anyone I had ever met. She once called me a sexist, misogynistic dinosaur, and I can see why. I used to be kind of a dick when I was younger. M helped whip me into shape. Like some sort of old aunt who makes sure you don't get into any trouble. Don't tell her I said that, though. She’ll have me shot.   
“I'm a little busy right now, ma'am!” I said, as I slammed the side of my car into one of my pursuers. It probably wasn't built to do that, but Q had modified it extensively, so hopefully it would hold up better than the last one. Q was the technical genius behind the operation. He built dozens of devices intended to help on missions, or just make your overall life easier. I had a tendency to blow them up. But it's not my fault. It comes with the job.   
“Bond, what have you done now?” M asked. I knew she didn't expect an answer. “Just get back to base as fast as you can, and we’ll handle the consequences later.” Her tone of voice betrayed that she was irked more than normal.   
“Yes, ma’am.” I said, before hanging up. I made another sharp turn, and one of the cars pursuing me slammed into a building, catching on fire. Oops.   
I zipped around the streets, slowly losing the cars tailing me. The entire time, the dog sitting in the seat beside me looked out the window, her tail wagging excitedly. What does one even do with a dog? I've never lived in one place long enough to even own one, much less take care of it. When I get back to base, I'll just have M bring her to the nearest shelter. Or maybe M would want to keep the dog as a pet. Who knows. She never struck me as a pet person, but if she did have a dog, it would be a German Shepard.   
Finally, when I was satisfied that I no longer had a tail, I began to drive towards the entrance to the MI6 headquarters. The car was probably dented beyond belief, and Q would definitely be chewing my ear out for that. He also wouldn't be happy that the dog got drool on the seat. But that's not really my fault.   
I parked my car, and the special MI6 elevator brought me down into Q’s laboratory. Well, I say lab, when really it's just a glorified garage. Despite the late hour, Q was leaning over his lab table, looking at something through a magnifying glass. I exited the car and opened the door for the dog, who happily jumped out and stood beside me. I scratched it behind the ears and walked up to Q.   
“Isn't it a little late for you to be working?” I asked.   
Q looked up from his table to me, and then to the dog standing beside me. “Where’d you get that?”  
I looked down at the dog, who looked up at me with kind brown eyes. “She just sort of followed me. I tried to tell her to go away, but she wouldn't hear it.”  
Q sniggered. “Like most of the women you end up with.”  
I rolled my eyes. “I brought the car back like you asked.”  
Q turned around and looked at the car. In this lighting, it looked a lot worse than I had expected. “I don't know if I want it back at this point.”  
“Well, at least it has insurance.” I gave him a slight smile. Even he wasn't immune to my charms. I think he has a crush on me, actually. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. He is cute. Of course, I’d never tell him that.   
He opened the door to the car and apparently saw the dog drool and paw prints all over the seat. “I can fix it. But next time, try not to do this.” He looked at the dog, who almost looked like it was smiling. “And maybe not adopt a dog while you're at it.”  
“Listen, I didn't try to get this dog to follow me. She just took a liking to me for some reason.” I said, and the dog wagged her tail, almost like she knew I was talking about her.   
Q walked over and scratched the dog behind the ears, causing the dog’s tail to wag faster. “Are you going to keep her?”  
I shrugged. “Maybe. I was thinking of just giving her to M to deal with.”   
“I could keep her.” Q said, sitting on the ground so he could be eye-level with the dog. “She's nice.”  
I was relieved to have the dog out of my hands. Sure, the dog was nice, but I just wasn't in the right occupation to own a dog. “Go right ahead. She seems to like you, anyway.”  
“Cool.” Q said, smiling. “What should I name her?”  
I patted the dog on her head again. “I don't know. How about… Sadie. Or something like that.”  
“Sadie.” Q nodded. “I like that name.” He scratched the dog under her chin. “Welcome to MI6, Sadie.”

A few weeks later after a stint in Bora-Bora, I stopped by Q’s lab to return a special phone he had given me to test. It blew up. It wasn't my fault. The battery was one of those ones that blows up sometimes. Or so I hope.   
Right at the door, Sadie greeted me with a wet nose to the hand. I scratched her behind the ears, and she acted like she hadn't seen me in years. I guess for dogs a few weeks lasts forever. I noticed that she had a new collar, a pink one with a heart-shaped tag reading “Sadie.” It suited her. I could tell it was Q’s work. The collar probably had a bunch of hidden tools to protect her.   
“Like her collar?” Q said from underneath a car. It was an Aston Martin DB5. Old, slow, and iconic. Probably my favorite car of all time.   
I chuckled. “I do. It's nice.”   
He slid out from under the car and sat up. “Made it myself. Watch this.” He pulled out a remote and pressed a button. Suddenly, a light on Sadie’s collar began to blink.   
“Hi there!” A high-pitched voice spoke from the collar. “It's been too long, Jimmy!”  
I took a step back. “You… she can talk? And why does she call me Jimmy?”  
“She thought it suited you.” Q said, patting the now talking dog on the head. “I engineered the collar to basically translate whatever she’s thinking into basic human English.”  
“Cool, isn’t it, Jimmy?” Sadie said, licking my hand.   
“Uh… Yeah…” I muttered. I was used to people shooting at me and trying to kill me, but a talking dog was out of the box. But if anyone could make a talking dog, it would be Q.   
“Need another car?” Q asked, pointing towards the Aston Martin. “I'm just about done with this one.”  
“Oooh! Where are you going, Jimmy?” Sadie put a paw on my leg. “Can I come with ya? I'd be a great partner!”  
I smiled, but shook my head. “I’m sorry, but where I'm going is dangerous. You can stay here and help out Q.”  
She whimpered. “Aww, but I wanna go with you! Uncle Q is nice and all, but I wanna hang out with you!”  
I raised an eyebrow. “Uncle Q?”  
He shrugged. “She chose it herself. I really can't say anything about it.”  
I sniggered. “Nice.” I knelt down in front of Sadie. “I'll let you come with me, but on one condition.”  
Sadie sat in front of me with her ears straight up in the air. “What is it, Jimmy?”  
“Stay in the car.”  
Sadie wagged her tail and nodded. “Sure thing, Jimbo! You can count on me!”  
I stood up and looked at Q. “Oh, great. I’m Jimbo now.”  
Q laughed. “You two have fun, now!”

“SADIE! RUN!” I yelled, dodging gunfire. This mission had turned sour fast, and I had to get out of there. And of course, the dog had to follow me. Admittedly, it was nice to have a partner. Her jaws were almost as deadly as a gun, and it was less lonely on the road. Q was a genius for coming up with the collar.   
“Got ya, Jimbo!” Sadie yelled back, bolting towards the car. That dog sure could run fast.   
I turned around and fired off a few shots at my pursuers. I managed to take one of them down, but there was still several trying to catch me. I rolled behind a wall and regained my breath. I hoped Sadie was alright.   
After a moment, I took a deep breath and ran out, shooting behind me. I could see my car a ways in front of me, and Sadie sitting in the front seat. She pushed the door open with her nose.   
“Come on Jimmy!” Sadie yelled anxiously.   
I jumped through the door, slammed it behind me, and put my foot on the gas. Several bullets slammed into the windows, but Q had engineered it to be resistant to a huge number of bullets. I floored it, and we sped away down the dark street.   
Then, I realized there was an intense pain in my right shoulder. I looked, and there was the unmistakable signs of a gunshot. The adrenaline must've prevented me from feeling it until now. And it was a doozie.   
“Jimmy! You're hurt!” Sadie said, pointing her nose at my wound.   
“Yes, I noticed that.” I replied, placing my hand over my wound. It stung like a son of a bitch, but I had to get back to where my MI6 contact was before I could get medical help. If I didn't bleed out first.   
Finally, the safe house was in sight. I pulled up beside it and stumbled out of the car, woozy from the blood loss. Sadie jumped out of the car and grabbed me by the sleeve, pulling me towards the house.   
“Just a little further, Jimmy.” She said reassuringly. Leave it to a dog to help you in your time of need. “We’re almost there.”  
I knocked on the door and said the secret code. As the door opened, I promptly passed out. 

I awoke to the glare of hospital lights and the unmistakable smell of disinfectant. There was a stabbing pain in my shoulder, and an IV drop connected to my arm. Of course I was in a hospital. But how did I get there?  
I looked around and spotted Q in a chair, flipping through a tabloid. What was he doing here? Didn't he have things to be doing for MI6? I mean, I wasn't going to complain, but it didn't make much sense.   
“Good morning.” He said, without looking up from his magazine. “How do you feel?”  
My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton. “Like I've been shot.”   
He flipped the page of his magazine nonchalantly. “That's to be expected.”  
Then, a thought occurred to me. “Where’s Sadie? Is she safe?”  
Q smiled. “Of course she is. She didn't leave your side the entire flight to the hospital. We had to take her back to the lab, since the hospital doesn't allow dogs.”  
I sighed in relief. “Good.”  
“I see she's grown on you.” He said, finally looking up from his magazine.   
I chuckled. Well, as much as I could chuckle, since I was still in a world of pain. “That she has. Having a talking dog can be helpful at times.”  
“I'm glad.” He flipped the page again. “She's a good dog.”  
For a moment, we sat in silence. It wasn't awkward, necessarily, but still not the most fun. It was hard to read what Q was thinking. He was that type of person, where he could keep his feelings hidden unless he wanted you to know what he was feeling. It was infuriating. But I found I could never stay mad at him for long.   
Finally, he closed his magazine and looked up at me. “Hey, uh, Bond… do you have any plans for Friday?”  
I took a moment to think. “I was going to order a pizza, drink some wine, and marathon some episodes of Bones I have burning a hole in my DVR.” I paused, realizing how boring that sounded. “So, no. I don't have any plans for Friday.”  
“As entertaining as that sounds.” Q said shakily. “Would you, uh, want to go out to dinner? With me? You can bring the dog if you want.” His face was getting redder and redder.   
“Wait, seriously?” I definitely wasn't opposed to the idea, but I was surprised. I wasn't exactly the ‘go out to dinner’ type. I generally just have one night stands with whoever comes my way. But it might be nice to have a change of pace.   
Q’s face was bright pink by now. “Uh…” He stood up. “Maybe this was a bad idea. Uh, you don't have to say anything, I'll go…”  
“No, Q, wait.” Damn. I blew it, didn't I. “I was just surprised. I'd love to go to dinner with you.”  
He raised his eyebrows. “Really? You're not just saying that to be nice?”  
I smirked. “Q, do you really think I'm the type of person to do that?”  
He smiled. “Good point.” He took a deep breath, apparently getting his bearings. “So, Friday. I'll pick you up at eight.”  
I nodded. “Sounds like a date.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this beautiful disaster i can't believe I actually wrote this oh my god  
> Also if you don't know the cars I mentioned google them because they're great cars  
> Also I'm a total car nerd which is why I included them


End file.
